Should I Stay, Should I Go?

I’ve decided to give myself 6 months to a year to decide whether a move back to my hometown is in the cards for me. It won’t be like when I moved to Philly in the span of 3 months, almost 9 years ago. I was so sure of my decision to leave MA back then. My transition was seamless and it felt right. So many doors opened for me when I stood ten toes down on my decision. I was able to sell my home in MA with no delay, the job I wanted in Philly at the time came easily and my favorite apartment in the center of the city was a breeze to get. This time around feels different. The weight of the decision that lies ahead of me isn’t lost on me. I want to be intentional and ensure that I’m considering all factors that’ll be impacted by me relocating. In the meantime, regular visits home monthly will aid me in making a decision in these coming months.

For starters, I created an alert on Zillow for rentals in key areas in MA, mostly located in the Greater Boston area and surrounding towns. The rentals are expensive but since I have a sense of many areas in MA, I’m not opposed to venturing further out to save some money. I’ve been monitoring the rental market for a while and I have to say an “F you” to it. Anyone who grew up in Boston proper will know where I’m coming from. I remember when rents were in the $600 range back in the day (what it cost my parents to rent a 2 bedroom condo in Boston when I was younger). Before I moved from MA, rents were creeping around $1300-1500 for a one-bedroom apartment. Now, those same apartments are going for $2500-3000!!! That’s well over double the average mortgage in Philly for a 3 bedroom home. This can’t be life. No wonder folks back home are a-holes. Not only do you have to overpay for an old dilapidated apartment with no parking, you have to then contend with the atrocious traffic both into and out of the city because most folks now live out in the sticks. When I was home last, I had to travel from my parents town to one of Boston’s “‘hood’s”. It took me no less than 1.25 hours during the day, for a drive that would’ve taken me 25-30 minutes tops. You would think that staying right off the major highways would help, but no, you’re literally sitting in traffic hating your life and building resentment for this overly congested place. I see why folks there always have bad attitudes.

It’ll be key to secure a remote gig so that location won’t matter anyway. A little distance between the local traffic in/out of the city and I won’t hurt. In the meantime, I’m toying with the idea of maintaining 2 homes during this transition. I could easily rent out my PA home but the idea of strangers occupying my space is unsettling. I’ve even considered Airbnb’ing out my spot, but even that makes my skin crawl. I know how much care I’ve poured into my home. Strangers don’t have that same regard for things that aren’t theirs. Plus, the idea of moving a whole house of belongings across state lines again is nauseating. I like the idea of having two abodes. If I’m fully remote work-wise, I’ll be able to move back and forth between homes with ease, especially when I want to get away. It’ll be like having a vacation home to escape to and vice-versa. I’m trying to find a way to keep from renting my home out just yet. Sounds crazy I know, considering the expenses I’ll be incurring trying to maintain 2 places. I’ll be more comfortable after the 3-6 month mark before deciding to make the complete leap. After all, what if I change my mind? What if I need a weekend escape? At least my philly home will be here. When stuff is popping off in MA, I can be there in 5 or so hours. Same for when there’s stuff to get into on the PA/surrounding states side. It’s a 20-30 minute drive to South Jersey, 45 minutes to Delaware, 90 minutes to Baltimore/North Jersey, 2 hours to NYC, 2.5 hours to DC and 4 hours to VA. Philly is central to so many places that I frequent.

A friend was asking me if I have any upcoming travel and trips planned. The short answer is no, at least not right now. This decision is priority for me, so all of my resources will go towards it for now. In addition to planned trips home every other week on my remote days, the plan is to end the year out spending a whole month in MA. I realized I don’t recognize it anymore because of gentrification and the extensive urban development. Most times when I’ve visited, I felt like I was being “othered”, being made to feel like I don’t belong. It’s a weird phenomena. In order to give it a real chance, I have to actually be there a longer period of time. I found a nice hotel I can stay at for an extended stay at a decent rate. I want to explore MA like a tourist would. That’s the only way I can really get a good sense of what life could be like and what I would be gaining by moving back. Despite all it’s flaws and problems, it is a beautiful place. The main selling point right now is that it contains the majority of the people I love. That’s more than enough reason to move but I want to make sure there’s more for me there. Otherwise, I will end up feeling the same resentment I had before when I left years ago.

I’ve been looking at PT opportunities to generate extra income for the time being to offset the costs of living in 2 states. I toy with the idea of changing jobs altogether and acquiring a gig that pays a lot more so that the juggling is manageable. I dared to utter the words to one of my colleagues and she immediately told me no lol. Of course, she followed-up with “whatever makes sense and makes you happy”. Do I want to leave my current job? Not necessarily…this is the first time I’ve worked with a team I really enjoy. The environment/culture of where I work isn’t as toxic and stressful as most places and is more nurturing. That’s where the buck stops though. I don’t feel like I’m making what I’m worth and it’s been hard to grapple with. My last job was fully remote and this one is now hybrid, so the flexibility isn’t always there. Because of the field I am in, there is this notion that you need to be available in-person to maintain connection and build community. Unfortunately, because of the phase of life I’m currently experiencing, I have to consider a fully remote job. Google, Glassdoor and Linkedin have been resourceful in that search when weighing my options. There are still some places that offer fully remote work. Most have now moved to a hybrid setup, so my options are limited. I’m at the stage in my career where company culture and work/life balance matters to me, so the reviews on Glassdoor are integral. I’ve ruled out several positions already because the companies were rated so low by current and former employees. It didn’t matter that some of the salary ranges were double what I make. What’s the point of making a ton of money if you’re unhappy and your employer is a soul-suck? At this point in my life, I am chasing happiness in all areas of my life.