Friends: The Family We Choose

Harvard Square seems like a common meeting place for my friend group. It holds so many pivotal memories. Old hang out spots that no longer exist, replaced by new ones that are the back drop of new memories being forged. The demographic that frequents that area has been steadily changing. I remember the “grown and sexy” nights (even though most of us were in our mid to late twenties and early thirties at the time). There was a nice dose of melanin at the events we’d attend there. It was a good mix of Harvard students, students from other universities in the area and young professionals. Some of my best dates occurred in that square. I came of age stomping through the Cambridge streets throughout the years, and Harvard Square is definitely in that highlight reel (Central Square also gets an honorable mention). Now, it seems like the crowds are getting younger and younger, more homogeneous. It sometimes feels weird being out with “adults” young enough to be your children. Most are usually bar and club hopping like I used to do way back when. I much now prefer to post up at one spot for the night as my compadres and I recount our “glory” days. However, going back home and hanging out in that place always makes me feel like a “yout” again.

A couple of my close girlfriends and I hit up our favorite spot. It has become a custom for me when in town: a large grilled al pastor quesadilla with a prickly pear and/or passion fruit margarita are my go to’s. The night initially started off with two of us, then another two joined. We were rounded out by a new-ish addition (a friend of a friend) towards the end of the evening. Margaritas were flowing and delectable Mexican dishes were had throughout the night, while we caught up with one another. It felt like old times. We’re at the age now where nostalgia is a big part of our conversations. Our eyes were glazing over at specific fond memories and the occasional fits of laughter filled the air. All the while, we were interacting with the strangers in our orbits, weaving in and out of conversations mostly about life and the shenanigans we were witnessing occur around us. The only thing we had to worry about was making sure we stayed hydrated and drank enough water in between our alcoholic drinks. Needless to say, a good time was had. We ended the night a few doors down at a new late night pizza spot. Think New York Pizza in the South End and in enters Joe’s. Luckily, we didn’t have to go far to indulge in more scrumptious goodness.

I am grateful that I have the outlet that I do in the form of true companions, each bringing something different to our group dynamic. When we’re together, we’re able to unpack all that we have going on, in a judgement-free zone. What I realize is that we’re not just in each others lives to provide support unconditionally. We’re also able to provide feedback and hold each other accountable. When I look at my immediate circle, we are all dealing with a challenge or two that complicates our lives. I love how we’re always able to set those things aside to be there for one another. When we’re together, there’s room to vent but mostly we’re trying to find the funny amidst the chaos we’re all living through. We laugh much more than we cry. Being able to step away from the “not so great” moments of life to let your hair down with those who love you is a beautiful thing. It was the prescription I needed for the hectic time I’ve been having.

Friends are the family we choose. I am constantly reminded of this. I have friends that are much closer to me than family, especially in the most transformative seasons of my life. Each one came into my life at the right time, for one reason or another, and has stayed. Continuing to enrich my life in more ways than I could’ve ever imagined. I always say that God brings the right people into your life at the right time. Even though I live the furthest away, I look forward to connecting with my peeps whenever I come into town. They are my calm, my north star, when everything else goes to ish. I am continuing to build a strong network in Philly but will always view my day ones back home as the standard. They have set the bar really high.