April Showers Bring May Flowers?

When will this dreary weather let up? The weather has been so warm lately (high 80’s mostly). I was ready to dry clean and store my Winter and Spring wardrobe, retire my boots for more toe cleavage-showing shoes but have to hold off. I got used to waking up to the sun shining brightly through my window blinds. I look out the window today and wonder, what gives? A friend had reminded me that the first weekend in May is usually pretty rainy, so it’s not out of the ordinary (I appreciate a good almanac reference). I had to suck it up and still make the best of it because I wasn’t about to let a little rain impede on the weekend I had in store. May the 4th was free comic book day, the South Street Festival and pre-Cinco de Mayo festivities. The following day, was the infamous Broad Street Run (Annual 10K race in Center City). I woke up on Sunday to the screams and cheers of the spectators at the race. Despite the showers, I was glad to see Philadelphians step out and show out to support the runners.

What this weekend signified was the need to be able to constantly pivot when plans change suddenly. Can’t get sidetracked when things don’t go as planned (the meteorologists failed to mention the week of rain ahead, but oh well). I remember the days when folks would call out and/or change their rsvp’s to “not coming” because they didn’t want to get wet. Sometimes, it’s an excuse to hunker down because they weren’t in the mood to join the masses and socialize, which we’re all allowed to do. Not that I’m experiencing FOMO (fear of missing out), but I was determined not to let my plans be derailed, and I succeeded. The mister and I spent the weekend running around town. He sometimes calls it “cruising”: driving around town just to be out, see some sights and explore a different neighborhood. I used to scoff at that in the earlier days (being out for no good reason) but get it now.

The continued showers and rainy weather signifies a cleansing that’s been needed for a while. Washing away all the guck and filth so that renewal and growth can take its place. I don’t mind that one bit. Some of us have been carrying the world on our shoulders for too long, not always deciphering what absolutely needs to be carried. A lot of what we carry is unnecessary junk that has to be off-loaded at some point or another. Instead, that “stuff” gets tangled with the necessary to the point where we can’t tell which is which. Sometimes, you just have to allow the flood waters to haul away the stuff that no longer suits you. For me, what needs to be hauled away are the following:

1) Prolonged stress: Stress seems to be a natural part of life. However, I’ve been experiencing it for prolonged periods of time these last several months. Things back home have been rocky again (the ongoing saga of my mom’s health), the ushering in of a new administration at work, along with a growing caseload of issues that sometimes keep me up at night. This isn’t my first time at the rodeo, but weeks on end of stress-inducing situations with no relief, have been wreaking havoc on me mentally, emotionally and physically. I’m trying my best to strike a balance.

2) Procrastination: Primarily due to the stuff I mentioned above, which leads to me putting my passions and other pursuits on the back burner, leaving me feeling behind constantly. I’m still trying to play catchup.

3) Grief: Sadness over lost connections, changes in relationships and loss of certain opportunities. I experienced most of this last Fall into the Winter. I’ve seen a shift in Spring but waiting for the whole season to end before I can claim any victory over this period in my life. What’s made all the difference is the healthy relationships that have replaced the ones I’ve lost. Having people to go through the rough patches with has made all the difference. It has also freed me up to show up for those who are now where I used to be, being a shoulder while they deal with their losses.

There is so much more “junk” I could list, but these are the ones that I have prioritized for now. I hope and pray for those going through similar struggles, to find solace in knowing that you aren’t the only one going through stuff. There is a light at the end of which ever tunnels you are working your way through. You aren’t alone. Just know that it’ll all be okay in the end. We sometimes have to go through the rainy season before our flowers can finally bloom. Just remember to take care of yourself along the way.